Saturday, 9 June 2012

Tired of Nothing

Well it's one week till AF is expected, and I say expected because I am indeed expecting her. I don't feel pregnant at all. 
Kind of down about it, but I'm so busy at work that I don't have time to even think about it! Plus bestfriend has been visiting few times this week with her NB. Loving seeing him, but I just want my own one. :( 

Found some mega cute crafts online that I want to make, but I don't want when I have nobody to put it on. Is it normal to feel like you don't want to give friends/family with children all the cute things? I mean, I want them for my kid.. so I don't want them having it.. but I feel selfish?

Been thinking so much lately. A while ago I got a reading done via email, all had to do was send my partner & I's birthdates and a picture of us to her and she sent back a reading. The stuff about me sounds very spot on, but I'm hoping shes not right about everything else cause I don't want to wait. And it's weird having it in the back of my mind all the time.
I might add it in as a document sometime if people want to read.

Got an exercycle today also, going to try loose some of my weight around my waist area/hips. Got baby making hips, but they also got  little extra chub round them. :/ I'm not overweight, I weigh about 48-50kg, but I do have some puppy fat. Which obvs might not be helping...

Anyway Im off to eat some scrummy choc ganache I found in my local supermarket and play Xbox Kinect. :) Kinda seems like contradictory actions.

xo Thinker

PS: Also a big HELLO and THANK YOU to my 2 followers. I never expected when I started this to get any! I will return the favour if you have blogs.


  1. Hi! I'm here from LFCA - welcome to blogger land.

    You are absolutely NOT selfish for wanting your own baby. We all struggle with this feeling - and I've received so much feedback about this that I'm starting to really believe that everyone's right - wanting a baby is not selfish. As has been pointed out to me, no one judges fertile women for wanting a baby or thinks they're selfish, so why would we be selfish for wanting our own baby?

    Good luck with your journey. There are so many ups and downs. I hope you find comfort knowing that there are so many of us out there who completely understand the hope and pain of it all. Hugs.

  2. Hi Alicia,

    Thank you for that, I know deep down I shouldn't feel selfish but it's just so hard to feel justified in it when everyone around you is shoving their babies/pregnancies in your face and wanting you to be excited for them. Do they give a thought to us? No.

    :) Thank you, I have found great comfort since starting this blog and joining LFCA. Everyone is amazing!

  3. I can totally relate! I roam the aisles of baby clothes at every store I go to and I want so much to buy them, but for my own and not someone else's! I think it's completely normal. I also feel selfish sometimes and am constantly asking my husband to reassure me that I'm not becoming a self-centered whiny baby because all I think about is a baby! So don't feel bad, we all go through this stuff and we are all feeling the same things right along with you and here to support you as well! There is nothing wrong with desiring a baby, every mom was there. Some of us just feel it longer and more intensely because of our struggles to reach that goal. Following the blogs of others going through this has helped me tremendously and thank you so much for sharing your journey!