Monday, 4 June 2012

2WW + Questions

Arrrgh the dreaded 2WW. :( It is the most stressful time, constant thoughts running through my mind... "What if I O'd late?" "Am I sure I O'd?" "Is this a possible symptom?" "Can I eat this...?" 

It is never-ending! Except obviously when you either get AF or that BFP. But the that opens a whole new can of worms!

If you get AF its "What did I do wrong this month?" "What can I do next month?" "Why do I do this?" "Why not me?"

If you get BFP its "Omg I can't eat this can I?" "Should I be doing this?" "Is that blood on the TP?" "How long will this last?"

Meanwhile back in the rest of the world people are sharing their news with everyone "I'm pregnant!". Recently my FB has been updated with lots of people announce pregnancies, and to my amazement they are all between 7-9 weeks. Do these people not understand that sooooo much can happen between now and 13 weeks? Would they be telling people if they had been through a m/c before?  And somewhere deep inside me it fills me with anger, they feel safe in their pregnancy and feel excitement. All I feel when I get mine is panic and dread. 

But can I tell these people how I feel, no. So many times I've wanted to say something on Facebook, just a post of a quote or a feeling, but I do not need my "friends" to know I am TTC. The constant "are you pregnant yet?" "Omg you would be such a good mum!" "I can't wait till you get pregnant!" "Have you tried .... ?" let alone the stuff I'd never hear, gossip. "Did you hear she's trying to get pregnant?" "I heard she .... and he .... " 

Thank god for my blog. And shows like Guilianna and Bill, publicly struggling so people can see that it is actually that hard for some people, including celebrities, and nothing is a guaranteed fix.  
Both are keeping me partially sane in this journey, now if only it could change the world and make others see....

xo Stressed & Hopeful


  1. Thanks for following my blog. Yes, the 2ww sucks. I stay off of Facebook feed for the exact reasons you've mentioned. I've gotten to the point where even seeing my feed filled with my friends kids pic bothers me. Totally agree...G&B rock!

  2. I'd love to see your TTC history. You should add it to your blog. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss last month. How heartbreaking!!! Sending hugs.

  3. Hi Jessah,

    Thank you for commenting! :) Its good to know people are alive out there, lol. FB is a drug I swear, in fact i'll be mentioning it in a new post soon...haha.

    I posted a brief TTC history as a post near the start, but when I get some more time to myself I will write a proper timeline. It's always hard to do because if I start crying DP is always like "whats wrong?!" and I just break down.

  4. My dates for my angels are also in NZ date format so DD/MM/YY. I pondered whether to write the date fully incase of confusion, damn earth and its different 'languages'

  5. Here from LFCA to welcome you to the blogosphere! Sorry to hear of your losses!

    Ive never understood the FB announcement so early. With my first pregnancy I waited until 16 weeks to tell the FB world but when my daughter died in utero at 37 weeks I vowed to never announce another pregnancy again. So when I got pregnant with my rainbow I didnt announce anything until her birth. It was just so much easier that way.

    But, youre right, FB is like crack! I cant tear myself away from it sometimes!

  6. Hi Courtney,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss, that would be so hard to be so close and have it taken away.

    FB should almost be banned for pregnancy talk! Haha, every time you right the word "pregnant" it should log you out. Hahah

  7. Everything you wrote in this blog post describes the way that I feel. I have completely gone off Facebook since my last miscarriage (I've had 3) because seeing wet pregnancy tests displayed on people's walls makes me want to give up. I wish that I could feel happy and excited when I get a BFP, but like you, I also feel dread and anxiety. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and I'll be following you! Praying for a sticky BFP!

  8. Thank you D! :) Its good knowing we are not alone in this journey even though it feels like it.

    I am also following you, and maybe one day soon we can both feel that fear and dread melt away.