Hurts A Lil

Today has been a good day. :) Spent a bit too much money, but overall its been good.

However, I still have had a few "ouch" moments. One physical, one emotional.
Physically all day I've been getting pains in the back of my thigh like its constantly tense and its SOOO uncomfy.

Emotionally someone disliked my video on YouTube. Yes that sounds stupid.
I make TTC Update videos on YouTube and also watch a few peoples journeys on there, and today I uploaded a video and just noticed someone has "disliked" it.  WHO DOES THAT? I'm not sure whether they were saying "i dislike that you are experiencing this" or "your video was gay". If it was the later, then who the EFF are you to do that?! Don't like it, don't watch, no need to kick me while i'm down. :(

Anyway, otherwise I am happy. La La La. :) 5DPO..totally bored and wanting next cycle to hurry up haha.
Does anyone else get that? I think it's nerves, kind of a "i want to be pregnant, but I dont at the same time because I dont want another miscarriage"

Hope everyone else is going along well! Shall g catch up on my reading now, both blogs and Fifty Shades Freed :P

Sigh CD8.

Today was NOT a good day. I feel like I blog more about bad things than good recently? Hmm must try remember to post good days too.

Anyway, I woke up today early and snoozed again for a bit. Then I got a text and I was stuck awake, I knew straight away that I was not going to have a good day. 

Started off pretty slow and easy just packing some stuff for our move this weekend.

I was just grumpy. Got grumpy at DP, got grumpy at BFF and grumpy at life.
It's almost like my AF side effects are a week late.

Tomorrow I am determined to have a better day. :) We are getting keys to our new place tomorrow which I am stoked about! We will probably start moving some boxes in. 

Packing is soooo annoying, I've packed the bathroom and our wardrobe completely. (Minus the basics out of bathroom we need) Lounge is mostly big items we can't put in boxes, Kitchen I am waiting till Friday to pack because we do need to eat, and the Spare bedroom is half packed and half not. I told DP that was his job. Hence why it is still in the state I left it.

Bonus, while I was in Spare room other day I did find a Basal Thermometer as I was packing some stuff! Never even knew we had one, I am planning on giving it a clean and then seeing if it still works. 

Combined with my first month of OPKing this is getting quite exciting. On the subject of OPK, I have a few questions for you all:

1) Whens the best time of day to do one?

2) What day do I start them? (I was thinking tomorrow or next day)

3) Is there anything I can't do around testing time?

Any help or feedback would be greatly appreciated! :)

Body Schmody

So I am currently very angry at my body.

Since I had the miscarriage in March it has just not returned to normal, and I miss my old body. :( I don't like this "new normal" my body has decided upon.

1) My cycles are now 36 day average, not the old 28.
2) My hair is always frizzy/flyaways and frequent dandruff
3) Constantly chapped lips. I apply chapstick religiously and they just don't go away, perhaps due to number 4?
4) Sleep with my mouth open all the time. Whyyy?!
5) My neck/face has now got an acne issue, i mean I used to get pimples but now its like proper acne. Redness, groups of 'pimples' some of which are deep large bumps, they never seem to go away, and my pore's are huge!

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and just cried. I hated myself. I still hate my body.

Has anyone else had this kind of thing happen? I would not mind all these if it meant I had my bundle of joy still with me, but really? I had to go through the loss and now live with these horrible stupid reminders.

Pleeease

No More! Please please please STOP.  I apologise now for any swearing that may follow...

This week is turning to hell. Shit. Garbage. Whatever you wanna call it.

There are pregnant women everywhere! On TV, at work, in the street. I feel like they are stalking me. And then, to top it off, I go on FB and see an old mate comment "Its Baby Time!" as his partner was in labour. Urgh, really. It was hard enough that they announced their pregnancy at the time I lost the twins, but now when it was supposed to be their week to arrive they freaking have theirs. :/ I know i know, you can't stop having a baby just because someone you know was due to have their babies that you didn't know about, and  it's just shit timing.

FML. I'm sick of waiting! I want to be pregnant NOW. If I was, even if I was just four weeks and still scared pantsless of loosing it, I would be happy looking at them saying "That could be me soon!" and rub/talk to my baby. :( IT'S NOT FAIR. Life's not fair.

And tomorrow I get to go with BestFriend to the hospital with her 8week old for his hearing test. Yay, surrounded by children/babies again. Woo. Grr.