So I am currently very angry at my body.
Since I had the miscarriage in March it has just not returned to normal, and I miss my old body. :( I don't like this "new normal" my body has decided upon.
1) My cycles are now 36 day average, not the old 28.
2) My hair is always frizzy/flyaways and frequent dandruff
3) Constantly chapped lips. I apply chapstick religiously and they just don't go away, perhaps due to number 4?
4) Sleep with my mouth open all the time. Whyyy?!
5) My neck/face has now got an acne issue, i mean I used to get pimples but now its like proper acne. Redness, groups of 'pimples' some of which are deep large bumps, they never seem to go away, and my pore's are huge!
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and just cried. I hated myself. I still hate my body.
Has anyone else had this kind of thing happen? I would not mind all these if it meant I had my bundle of joy still with me, but really? I had to go through the loss and now live with these horrible stupid reminders.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Pleeease
No More! Please please please STOP. I apologise now for any swearing that may follow...
This week is turning to hell. Shit. Garbage. Whatever you wanna call it.
There are pregnant women everywhere! On TV, at work, in the street. I feel like they are stalking me. And then, to top it off, I go on FB and see an old mate comment "Its Baby Time!" as his partner was in labour. Urgh, really. It was hard enough that they announced their pregnancy at the time I lost the twins, but now when it was supposed to be their week to arrive they freaking have theirs. :/ I know i know, you can't stop having a baby just because someone you know was due to have their babies that you didn't know about, and it's just shit timing.
FML. I'm sick of waiting! I want to be pregnant NOW. If I was, even if I was just four weeks and still scared pantsless of loosing it, I would be happy looking at them saying "That could be me soon!" and rub/talk to my baby. :( IT'S NOT FAIR. Life's not fair.
And tomorrow I get to go with BestFriend to the hospital with her 8week old for his hearing test. Yay, surrounded by children/babies again. Woo. Grr.
This week is turning to hell. Shit. Garbage. Whatever you wanna call it.
There are pregnant women everywhere! On TV, at work, in the street. I feel like they are stalking me. And then, to top it off, I go on FB and see an old mate comment "Its Baby Time!" as his partner was in labour. Urgh, really. It was hard enough that they announced their pregnancy at the time I lost the twins, but now when it was supposed to be their week to arrive they freaking have theirs. :/ I know i know, you can't stop having a baby just because someone you know was due to have their babies that you didn't know about, and it's just shit timing.
FML. I'm sick of waiting! I want to be pregnant NOW. If I was, even if I was just four weeks and still scared pantsless of loosing it, I would be happy looking at them saying "That could be me soon!" and rub/talk to my baby. :( IT'S NOT FAIR. Life's not fair.
And tomorrow I get to go with BestFriend to the hospital with her 8week old for his hearing test. Yay, surrounded by children/babies again. Woo. Grr.
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